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THE ALPHABET DIET

   The Succeder needs to be aware of what he (or she) is eating. So I do Nutritional Counselling.

   To be a Succeeder you have to eat food that is harmonious for you. You’ve heard about all the different diets on offer – low-carb, no-carb, bi-carb, whatever. They’re all rubbish. Ditch the Dumb diets!

   Forget the Fads! Listen to L-Vo. It’s simple and it works. You must eat only food that begins with the same letter as your name. This is the Alphabet Diet. This is Spellology© applied to Food and it will help you give 166 per cent even on a Tuesday.

   So, for example, I am L-Vo. Hence, I eat lamb, leeks, liver, lettuce (Lamb’s lettuce is doubly good), lozenges, luxury mince pies from Marks & Spencer, and anything from Lebanon.

   But that may not work for you (unless your name begins with an L). One man’s meat is another man’s mackerel. I allowed my assistant Nikki to eat only nuts, noodles and Nestlé products.

   You can change to a different initial every month. So next month, I can eat things starting with V, then S the following month. You may want to bear this in mind when naming your children.

   And this might be a problem for people with only one name (for example, Pink who was so keen to ‘Get the party started’).

A - Animals, abalone, asparagus, anchovy, Algerian food

B - Beef, beetroot, beer, bread, brie, burger, biscuits, banana, beer, Belgian food, Brown Sauce

C - Chicken, cress, cider, carrot, cheese, chips, Chinese food, chocolate and chocolate-covered things

D - Duck, dressing, dim sum, doughnuts, deep-fried stuff

E - egg, eel, eyes (sheep's), Edam, emu, Ethiopian

F - Fish, fettuccine, foccacia, food, French, fried food, French fries, fricasseed things

G - Goose, gherkin, ginger, gravy, Greek

H - haddock, halibut, horse, hare (jugged), hot food

I - Ink (squid), ice cream, imperial mints, Italian food, Indian food, iron

J - juice, jackfruit, john dorey, joints of meat, julienne of vegetables, Japanese, jam, Jaffa cakes

K - Kale, kipper, Kitkat, kangaroo, kedgeree, Special K

L - lamb, liver, leek, lettuce, lozenge, luxury mince pies, luxury chocolate, luxury taramasalata, Lebanese food

M - mixed veg, Maltesers, meat, mince, melon, mutton, McDonalds, milk chocolate

N - nuts, nan bread, noodles, nice things, Nesquik, Nice biscuits, neeps in Scotland

O - orange, orange food, oats, olives, ostrich

P - pork, prawn, peach, potato, pickle, pizza, parmesan, pink, purple, Polish, protein

Q - quail, quorn, quick-cook meals

R - radish, Ready Brek, raisins, root vegetables, rabbit, roe, raspberry, Russian, Ryvita

S - sausages, swordfish, sandwiches, sushi, spaghetti, soya, stilton, steak, salmon, sautéed anything

T - Thyme, trout, tomato, tagliatelle, tempura, tinned food, tuna, Thai or Tunisian

U - unagi, undercooked food, underbelly, Ugandan

V - veal, vegetables, vinegar, vermilion food, Vietnamese

W - wheat, Weetabix, Worcestershire Sauce, water biscuits, wine, Welsh rarebit and other Welsh food, water, watermelon

X - Xantham gum (that thing they use instead of yeast), Xmas cake, Xmas pudding

Y - yogurt, yeast, yolk, yellow food, Yemeni, yam

Z - zinc, zabaglione, zest of lemon, zebra, zoo animals



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